Michal Alpern “Resolutions I and II”

M23

This event has ended.

To lift yourself out of a miserable state— even by vigorous force— should be easy. I tear myself off the chair, stride around the table, exercise my head and neck, bring fire to my eyes, flex the muscles around them. Defy any emotion, I would welcome A. enthusiastically, if he comes to see me now; amiably tolerate B., swallow in long draughts everything that is said at C.’s, despite the pain and trouble. But even if that were to happen, one mistake, that is unavoidable, will stop it all, light and heavy alike, it will withdraw around and around in a circle.

Hence, the best advice is to endure all, to make yourself an inert mass, even that you feel, you are a leaf in the wind, to regard your fellow man with an animal gaze, to feel no compunction, in short with your own hands to throttle down any remnant of life— that ghostly remains in you, that is, to increase the final peace, the grave-like rest, and let nothing exist but that.

A characteristic gesture in such a state is to run your little finger over your eyebrows.

Resolutions by Franz Kafka
Edited translation: Michal Alpern